Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Insignificant Hulk

Superpower(s): Frank Poster, otherwise known as the insignificant hulk, suffered a lost time injury whilst attempting to clear a paper- jam from the office print centre. A routine print job caused an explosion in the cyan toner cartridge, covering him in blue toner and leaving him out of the office for two days on stress leave. During his leave, Frank discovered that when bored, he shrank slightly and his skin, mutated from the exposure to the toner, turned a blueish hue.

Secret Identity: When not the insignificant hulk, Frank Poster works as an IT guy at a medium sized accountancy firm. It is a struggle each day to keep his super powers from affecting his work life. If one of the accountants spends too long speaking to him, the blue starts to take over. Fortunately, most of his co workers now just think of him as the weird IT guy that starts holding his breath when he gets too much social interaction.

Appearance: Not one to live by the drama on the field, his appearance depends on how long people have been talking about sport. Mondays he drifts through many shades of blue; by the grand final, he is sent home. At a recent trip to the movies with work colleagues he recieved a reputation as 'that massive Avatar fan', which he finds incredibly annoying, since he found the movie so boring.

Best Known For: the court case that changed the way the world saw copyright law (see: Frank Poster vs Stan Lee) and the falling out on Internet forums.

Notable Quotes: "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry, I get irrational and start ignoring evidence that suports your argument"

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Captain Pun

Superpower(s): His jokes are so bad and pun laden that they cause physical pain; they are not punny at all. He can improve the penetration power of his weapon by megaphone.

Secret Identity: Captain Pun started as an acrobatic pilot for the Air Force under the alias Captain Giggles – the WW1 Ace. During a performance he clipped the ground and landed hard on his elbow breaking his funny bone. The damage was irreparable and he could never tell a good joke again. He sought solace in puns, turning to a life of crime.

Appearance: Captain Pun has a peg leg, made entirely of pegs joined together, and a peg elbow. Late at night he wears a ships wheel down his pants.

Best Known For: Attempting to rustle all of the cattle from Argentina - when captured by police, he claimed he was only mooving them. Apprehending officers were hospitalised for 5 days and Captain Pun escaped in a freight truck. The police had handcuffed him, so he got a bullock to steer.

Notable Quotes: “It's drivin’ me nuts!”

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Vessel


A scientific mastermind and avid comic-book collector, Vessel attempted to gain crime-fighting superpowers by electrocuting himself in a large vat of mutagenic ooze together with a live shark, a scorpion and an industrial laser. Upon regaining consciousness, he discovered that he had become imbued with the abilities of a vat.

Vessel can rearrange his molecular structure at will to become a vat of any size with equal mass to his body. With sufficient concentration, he can act as a dinghy or a bathtub, however this does not prevent him from becoming all pruney if he stays in the water too long.

Secret Identity:
By day, Cornelius Tranh works in R&D for a large pharmaceutical conglomerate. Due to his electrically-induced memory loss and the laboratory fire caused by an industrial laser explosion, Cornelius has only a vague recollection of how he gained his powers.

A vat. Nothing like a ship.

Best Known For:
Trapping criminals by falling on them.

Notable Quotes:
"I've reached a high high level with crime!"